In this episode:
In this episode, I talk with debut author Jessica Guerrieri about her novel Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea, a raw, honest story about addiction, motherhood, and recovery. We dive into why she chose fiction over memoir, how mommy wine culture harms more than it helps, and what it took for her to leave teaching.
If you’ve ever felt ashamed, stuck, or unsure how you got here, this one’s for you. Jessica’s story is a powerful reminder that healing is possible, alcohol can trap anyone, and you’re not alone.
Resources Mentioned by Jessica Guerrieri:
Buy Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea
Follow Jessica Guerrieri on Instagram
Visit Jessica Guerrieri’s site
Jessica Dueñas’s Resources:
Six-Week Writing for Healing Program Is Open for Enrollment!
Bottomless to Sober – Coaching, Classes, and Workshops
Transcript:
Jessica Dueñas:
Hey everyone, welcome back to Bottomless to Sober. I’m really excited for today’s episode because we have a special guest: debut author Jessica Guerrieri. She’s a California-based writer, a mother of three, and the author of the new novel Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea.
Fun fact — Jessica, like me, is also a former special education teacher. She left the classroom to pursue recovery, motherhood, and writing. She’s been sober for 12 years, and in her book, she writes about addiction and motherhood with such powerful honesty.
I’ve only been a mom for six months — those of you who listen know that — but there are so many things she explores in this novel that resonate deeply. The way she portrays relationships, motherhood, and the journey toward wholeness is just… beautiful.
Some of the women in my sobriety support meetings through The Luckiest Club have read this book and shared how much it moved them. So I’m truly honored to have the author here with us today. Welcome, Jessica!
Jessica Guerrieri:
So glad to be here. Thanks for having me.
Jessica Dueñas:
Let’s start with your novel, Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea. It offers such a layered portrayal of a woman navigating the weight of motherhood and alcohol addiction. What made you want to tell Leah’s story — and why now?
Jessica Guerrieri:
I wanted to write something really honest from the perspective of someone who made it to the other side of addiction. I’ve read a lot of books and memoirs, but I hadn’t found one that captured the gut punch I was trying to encapsulate — especially for moms.
We’re surrounded by mommy wine culture, and it’s been especially rampant during the pandemic. Ads were everywhere saying, “It’s 5 o’clock somewhere,” encouraging us to drink to cope. I wanted to show what happens when you follow that path all the way down — not to shame anyone, but to make moms feel less alone.
Jessica Dueñas:
Yes! One woman in my support group said reading your book was like looking in the mirror — every page felt uncomfortably familiar. That really speaks volumes. I also love that you essentially wrote the book you needed. That’s so powerful.
But I’m curious: why tell this story through fiction instead of memoir, especially when it’s so close to your lived experience?
Jessica Guerrieri:
That’s such a good question. I do have a memoir proposal that’s ready for submission — it’s an option my agent and I have discussed. But fiction felt safer, both for me and for the reader.
If you’re browsing the self-help aisle for books on addiction, you’re already on a journey. But if someone stumbles upon Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea while browsing women’s fiction, it can plant a seed. They may recognize pieces of themselves without feeling exposed or judged.
Fiction also allowed me to be creative — to explore different worlds like Half Moon Bay, which is my favorite beach community. My sister is a surfer, and I wanted to include that poetic connection to the ocean. So while Leah is absolutely based on me in some ways — we’re both 6’1”, for starters — I also had the freedom to create a new version of myself.
Jessica Dueñas:
Have people ever asked, “So… are you Leah?”
Jessica Guerrieri:
Oh, of course! And honestly, I do it to myself, too. Leah is definitely my shadow self. But one key difference is that I got sober before becoming a mom.
Still, during the pandemic, I explored other substances besides alcohol and realized — yep — if I can abuse it, I will. So while I didn’t drink during motherhood, I’ve experienced addiction in different forms. It all felt the same — that vortex that sucks the life out of you — and that’s what I wrote from.
Jessica Dueñas:
That’s so powerful. You wrote Leah’s addiction so viscerally that even knowing your background, I was convinced you had lived it exactly.
So many people think addiction only looks one way, or only happens to certain people. But your novel shows how layered and universal it can be. I love that you used fiction to give readers the space to explore it safely.
Jessica Guerrieri:
Exactly. Writing is my healthiest form of escape now — it’s my form of healing. Reading and writing have literally saved me. Fiction gives me that safe place to explore pain and possibility.
Jessica Dueñas:
I read your Huffington Post piece where you wrote about using alcohol to silence parts of yourself. When did you realize that silence wasn’t working anymore?
Jessica Guerrieri:
There’s a phrase in recovery: “Half measures availed us nothing.” I kept trying to moderate — switching from hard liquor to wine, counting drinks, making rules — and nothing worked.
I considered myself emotionally intelligent, but I couldn’t outsmart this. I couldn’t stop putting myself in humiliating situations.
One morning, I woke up, sick again, throwing up in the sink — because I’d learned that was better than the toilet. I looked in the mirror and didn’t recognize myself. And I heard this voice — maybe a hallucination — say, “Haven’t you had enough yet?”
And somehow, in that moment, I said, “Yes.” I told on myself. I told my husband, my friends, my family. That was my turning point.
Jessica Dueñas:
Thank you for sharing that. So many of us try to hide it or fix it on our own. But the shift comes when we speak the truth — when we finally say, “I need help.”
You also wrote about being an oversharer when drinking — how you’d tell anyone anything. What does healthy vulnerability look like for you now?
Jessica Guerrieri:
That’s something I had to learn. Vulnerability is still how I connect with people, but now it comes with boundaries. Before, I would overshare to be liked or to trauma-dump.
Now, I ask: is this a safe space? Am I sharing something personal, or something universal? Writing gives me a place to explore the universal truths that help people feel less alone — and that’s what I’m most passionate about.
Jessica Dueñas:
That makes so much sense. And speaking of writing — you’ve got a second book on the way! Is it a continuation of Leah’s story?
Jessica Guerrieri:
Nope! Totally new story. It’s called Both Can Be True and it’s told from the perspective of two estranged sisters who are brought back together by a missing woman. It still explores addiction and relationships, but this time I wanted to dig into long-term marriage and the deep friendships between women. It’s a different lens, but still rooted in recovery and connection.
Jessica Dueñas:
That sounds incredible. I’m so glad you’re continuing to write in ways that invite important conversations.
Before we wrap up, what’s one message you’d want to leave with a listener who feels stuck or ashamed of where they are right now?
Jessica Guerrieri:
You’re not alone. There is so much hope.
Twelve years ago, I was passing out every night, mixing alcohol with sleeping pills, and waking up to drink again. I was a shell of a person. But everything that I am today — a mom, a writer, someone who gets to travel and speak about recovery — it’s all because of sobriety.
Those parts of me were always there — they were just buried by addiction. You are not broken beyond repair. There is more waiting for you than you can possibly imagine.
Jessica Dueñas:
That is so beautiful. I was reminded of a quote by Laura McKowen, founder of The Luckiest Club. She says, “If you could see even a fraction of what’s possible for you, you would fall to your knees and cry.”
It’s so true. We just have to take that first brave step.
Before we go — where can people find you and your work?
Jessica Guerrieri:
You can find me on Instagram at @jessicaguerrieriauthor, and my website is jessicaguerrieri.net. You’ll find all my writing there — from the book to personal essays and even my old mom blog.
I’m also on TikTok @jessstaysober, but Instagram is the best place to connect.
Jessica Dueñas:
Awesome. And Jessica’s book, Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea, is out now — you can find it anywhere books are sold, or request it at your local bookstore.
Jessica, thank you so much. This has been an amazing conversation.
Jessica Guerrieri:
Thank you! I loved being here.
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