“Your immediate reaction does not tell you who you are, it is how you decide to respond after the reaction that gives you real insight into how much you have grown. Your first reaction is your past, your intentional response is your present.” – Yung Pueblo
Sometimes, when we encounter other people in this recovery journey, we might find ourselves struck by judgment. Perhaps someone recovers in a way that does not resonate with you, and you find your body reacting strongly when you hear that they do “x” to recover.
Inspired by the quote above, I want to offer this:
Lack of growth lives, not in the initial feeling of the judgment, but rather in the choice to remain in that headspace. Choosing to live in a space of judgment toward how someone recovers can limit your ability to be of service to others or even build community.
For example, you might buy into the false narrative that you have nothing to offer this individual, so you don’t reach out. On the other hand, you may think this person has nothing to offer you, so you decline to connect and build a wall instead.
What if, the next time you feel that pang of judgment run through your body, you slow down and get curious? What is this judgment trying to tell you about how you see recovery and the world? Is this belief something you can question? How might this feeling block you, and how can you transform it into compassion and service?
Just because someone else is in recovery will not automatically make them your next best friend—trust me about that! But you’ll never know if there is something to gain from connecting with them if you automatically dismiss this person because of how they chose to heal.
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