“There is what you experience, and then there is the story you tell yourself about it. Over time, that story becomes the truth you carry, as the other details fade in the distance. Over time, how you write the narrative determines how you experience reality.”
– Brianna Wiest in entry 208 of The Pivot Year.
Several conversations I’ve had this week have revolved around folks convincing themselves that if they dare to reach out to another soul for support during challenging times, they risk being ostracized for their audacity to seek connection.
Instead of telling yourself that by calling, you are inconveniencing your childhood best friend—who you recently informed of your sobriety journey, tell yourself that your best friend loves you and wants to be given opportunities to be there for you. She can’t help you if you don’t tell her that you need support.
Instead of telling yourself that your sister is too busy with her kids to take your call, tell yourself that your sister is a grown woman who will let you know if she can’t talk to you right now. You don’t need to assume what she is and is not able to do.
Instead of assuming that you are bothering the kind individual who offered you their phone number in a meeting and encouraged you to “Call any time!” by actually calling them, ask yourself, “Am I a mind reader?” Because what evidence do you have that you’re bothering this person? Are you now a telepath, too?
You are not an inconvenience.
You are not a bother.
The truth is that you will encounter difficult times, and the story you tell yourself will dictate whether you navigate these challenges alone or with the support of others.
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