Link to Spotify
I sit down with Robert Marino, founder of Rolling Hills Recovery Center and Novara Recovery Center, to talk about what really happens inside a treatment facility. We explore how to know when it’s time to seek help, what to expect from a 30-day program, and why not all treatment centers are created equal. Robert also opens up about his own journey from addiction to long-term recovery and I speak about my own experience, having been to treatment seven or eight times. If you’ve ever wondered whether you or a loved one might be “bad enough” to need help, or felt shame about how many times you’ve tried, this conversation is for you.
Resources:
Rolling Hills Recovery Center
Rolling Hills Recovery Center on YouTube
Novara Recovery Center
Jessica’s Resources:
Six-Week Writing for Healing Program Is Open for Enrollment!
Coaching Information
Bottomless to Sober – Coaching, Classes, and Workshops
Transcript:
Jessica Dueñas: Hey, everyone, welcome back. So for today’s episode, I have a special guest. I’ve been very lucky with several guests lately. Today I have Robert Marino, who is the founder of Rolling Hills Recovery Center and Novara Recovery center up in the northeast.
Jessica Dueñas: And if you’ve ever wondered what on earth happens behind the doors of a treatment facility when someone should go, what to expect and how to choose the right one. My conversation with Robert today is for you. We’re also going to dive a little bit into Robert’s personal why, for doing this work and what he’s learned from working alongside people in recovery. So Robert! Welcome thanks for coming.
Robert Marino: Hey? Thank you so much for having me. Thank you. It’s an honor to be here and always get in front of the recovery community and talk about the truths, the myths, and you know the expectations and the personal journeys, because
Robert Marino: without that identification, that’s I probably never would have got to where I am today in my recovery, because I had to see people that came before me that had these same sufferings, that I did, that I could sit back and say, Wow! That sounds like me a little bit right there. And it was. It was enticing to me to be able to get to the goal of where they are right. You know, when I, when I was out there right a little bit about what it was like
Robert Marino: in the most
Robert Marino: explicit way. Horrid! Right? It was absolutely terrible. I got to the point of homelessness. Loss of family. You know, living outside taking bird baths in a dunkin donuts bathroom, and just I could not get out of my addiction. You know I was dual dual, addicted Cross addicted. You know I drank every single day. I was also addicted to heroin.
Robert Marino: You know it just it brought me to my knees, and it brought me to a spot where I didn’t know what to do right, because I was so maladjusted to living a certain lifestyle that that was the only normal lifestyle to me, if that makes any sense so, and what I mean by that is, you know, I would hear other people talk, and they would say, Wow, man, you’ve been in jail and like what you haven’t
Robert Marino: it didn’t. It didn’t connect with me that this was not normal behavior. And I love telling this story because this is just the the mind of an alcoholic drug addict. Right? So my wife and I, we’ve we’ve been together for a very long time now, and I remember I was maybe about 2 years sober, and we went on a vacation down to Myrtle Beach.
Robert Marino: and she is a normal person, right? She drinks like a regular person, not alcoholic behavior, and I remember she had a bottle of wine, and she poured herself a glass, and I woke up the next morning, and the glass was halfway full, and it just was a it blew my mind.
Robert Marino: and and where my mind goes was, how did you not drink that whole glass of wine, and then go for the bottle, and then have to go back to the liquor store and continue till you were blacked out drunk. These are just some things that escaped me. And, you know, coming into treatment, I actually was in an indigent, indigent treatment facility in Morristown, New Jersey, called the Market Street Mission. It’s a faith-based program, because I had nothing. You know I had my whole life in 3 black garbage bags.
Robert Marino: and you know they brought me in free of cost. No insurance, none of that. And I slept on a on a chapel floor, on a jail mattress until I got enrolled into the actual program.
Robert Marino: And then from there I started getting connected to the resources. And if it wasn’t for that moment for actually enrolling in that program and taking that hard step because it was scary. I knew that I was about to commit to removing
Robert Marino: the only thing that gave me some sense of ease and comfort, because that was my problem. My whole life was, I always felt out of place in my own skin. You know I’ve been diagnosed with Adhd from when I was a kid. So I’ve always had a problem sitting still, and that comfortability. And you know the opioids gave me that relaxation that I was looking for right.
Robert Marino: and it kind of it mellowed me out a little bit, but as soon as I wasn’t high it was still back to the same, you know, tortoise in a hare. I was all over the place, you know. I could never stay the course steady, so you know that was the opportunity that I needed in my life at that. At that point.
Jessica Dueñas: Gotcha. And so with that, thank you for sharing so much about your story. Now with you. Having gone to a treatment facility yourself, what made you decide to open your own.
Robert Marino: So I was actually, where was I at? In the very beginning I was
Robert Marino: doing mortgages right. I became a loan officer, and I worked at a restaurant and all these different things.
Robert Marino: and you know I’m in long-term recovery. I’ve been sober a long time now, and I remember my business partner for Rolling Hills Recovery Center in New Jersey. We
Robert Marino: we lost contact. We were childhood friends, right, and I was jogging down the street one day in Morristown, and here he is. He pulls up next to me, said, Hey, Rob, have you been? I haven’t seen you in forever, and I said, You know we started chatting, and he was like, What are you up to these days? What are you doing for work? And I said, Well, you know I’m actually doing. I’m a loan officer for a mortgage company getting mortgages for people to buy their houses.
Robert Marino: and he said, Hey, this is where what I’ve been doing, and he knew that I was in sobriety, and he asked me, and he said, Would that ever be something that you’d be interested in doing? And I said, Yeah, I mean, I’m in the position right now, because you know how, when you 1st get sober, you just want to help the world right? You just want to say you just think you could save everybody by spreading the message of sobriety, and I was like, no, I don’t think that’s for me. And then, you know, I don’t know. A few weeks or a month goes by, and I was thinking about it, and I gave him a call, and
Robert Marino: he got me my 1st job at a treatment center doing business development, for, you know, like going and spreading the message about the treatment facility to get clients to come into the program.
Robert Marino: and then it start. It started from there and then, you know, as years went by, him and I started talking, and we were like, you know, we see all these treatment facilities, and you know not. All treatment facilities are the same. Caliber. Right are created equally. Some are not
Robert Marino: adhering to the proper principles, while others flourish, and they do fantastic work. And you know I saw things in different treatment facilities that I did not like right. I didn’t like how it started to become a money driven operation where it was just all about getting people into treatment that had to have a good paying insurance policy, right? And and these are some of the things that had
Robert Marino: motivated me to be able to. You know one. People always tell me, Rob. What you do is God’s work, and you know I don’t. Bs them right. I’m not going to sit there and say, yes, this is exactly. You know, I’m doing this to save the world.
Robert Marino: We do this to support our families, and at the same time we get to help people that we encounter right? And that’s just the reality behind it. But what we do is make sure that we provide the best kind of clinical services possible, and that’s something that you know we can get into if you want to take it there. And in a few moments to explain the program at Rolling Hills.
Jessica Dueñas: Yeah, for sure. So first, st before we get into kind of like the programs that you all offer, I think one of the big questions that somebody listening might have for themselves is, if if you are struggling with addiction right? At what point is it that you should go into a treatment facility. And at what point are you okay to kind of do this at home? Because I know for myself. I
Jessica Dueñas: went to treatment several times, and I know that I felt like I was at a place of feeling complete lack of control. But I’m curious what you all like in your facilities. How you determine. Yes, like at an intake interview. Yes, you should stay with us, or like no, we think that you’re okay to like, go home, go to meetings, etc.
Robert Marino: Yeah. So you know one of the 1st indicators. So let’s let’s start at the beginning. Where is treatment necessary? Right? Do I even need to go into a detox, a residential, an outpatient setting.
Robert Marino: If.
Robert Marino: in my experience, if life is becoming unmanageable to the point where you cannot control your consumption of either a narcotic or alcohol. Then it’s probably time to seek out. You know, if you’re suffering family relationships, you’re missing work, you’re getting fired from jobs as a result of
Robert Marino: your usage, then. Yes, it’s probably time to seek help now, what we do is we do an assessment with individuals before they even come into our program. And then we’re going to go over prior drinking history or usage history, any kind of underlying Co occurring disorders that may be prevalent. So depression, stress and anxiety, disorder, bipolar disorder. Because we also do.
Robert Marino: you know, med management and prescribing at our facility. So we have advanced nurse practitioners which are psychiatric nurse practitioners to be able to help people get on medication, get their levels balanced, and then stay on track with that. With those meds.
Robert Marino: Now we, once the assessment is done, then we’ll make our determination. Does this. Does this person need detox, and then we’ll start them off at that detox level of care if they are reporting, only drinking a couple times a week, or you know they have work that they still need to engage with families that they need to engage with. So there’s a bunch of things that kind of collectively come together to establish what level of care is necessary for an individual.
Jessica Dueñas: Yeah, no. And I think that that’s important. I love that you all take the time to do an assessment, and that you do offer levels of care, because I know there were times that I did an intensive outpatient program, and I completely bombed that. So I had to go inpatient. And you know the reason I did intensive outpatient was because I was trying to keep my work schedule going and trying to get sober, and the the truth was, I was in too deep. And so, you know, the
Jessica Dueñas: person running the outpatient program was like, Hey, we really think you need to kind of.
Jessica Dueñas: you know. Take some time off work and go in so that you can just make this like your number one priority. The other thing I wanted to mention. I also think it’s great that you all offer detox treatment.
Robert Marino: I just wanna be make that clear. So we’re not the actual medical portion of it. We do your traditional 30 day programming. So what we do with the detox is, we have our partners that we utilize, that we trust and been using for years. We align them with the detox, and then once they’re completed, then we bring them in on a bed to bed training.
Jessica Dueñas: Perfect. Okay, so.
Robert Marino: I don’t want to mislead anybody.
Jessica Dueñas: Yeah, yeah, no. I’m so glad you clarified that for the listeners, because for anyone listening, I will share from my personal experience as not, and not as medical advice. You all because I’m not a doctor. But what I do know is that detoxing specifically from alcohol and benzodiazepines can be lethal. And so it is so important that if you are struggling with alcohol or benzos that you do follow up with medical care because you don’t want to end up having seizures.
Jessica Dueñas: or you know you’re going into cardiac arrest or any of the other. Many things that can happen, I know, detoxing from the other substances can be incredibly incredibly painful, and basically torture from having been in detox with people coming off of opiates and everything else. But please understand, it’s always good to get assessed and get medical advice from a licensed medical doctor before you decide
Jessica Dueñas: to quit something cold. Turkey, whatever you’re using at the end of the day. But I’m glad that you all kind of work with a Detox center. And then you take people in for the 30 day programs.
Robert Marino: Correct, and you know, and just to piggyback off what you were saying there a little bit. So with that, you’re right. Alcohol and disclaimer as well. I’m not a doctor either, but you know alcohol and benzodiazepines. Yes, that can kill you. It’s lethal right. And but here’s a lot of things that. Why, that assessment is so necessary, too, because people don’t pay attention or undermine this fact right here is that a lot of people are using benzodiazepines to taper off alcohol, which is perfectly okay. Right
Robert Marino: now, a lot of people are also addicted to benzodiazepines that drink alcohol. And now and why? Let’s say right? Because benzodiazepines are also a depressant which produce similar effects as alcohol.
Robert Marino: So what we do is when people come into our program after that detox process. We’re looking to transition them off of the benzodiazepine, especially if they were an alcoholic and try to get them on something that’s a non-narcotic that can maybe deal with any kind of stress or anxiety disorder that they have.
Jessica Dueñas: Yeah, yeah, no, thank you for pointing that out, because a hundred percent. And I remember this again from my lived experience and the people that I walked through those doors with. There were some people who struggled with benzos, and they basically said it was almost like alcohol in a pill version. So I think it’s super important to point that out.
Jessica Dueñas: So you mentioned your treatment facilities, their 30 day program. So tell us a little bit about what it’s like. Once people go in there, what services are they getting? What therapies are there kind of like? What does someone’s calendar look like when they’re a patient in a 30 day program with you all.
Robert Marino: Oh, yeah, for sure. So as soon as people walk in, we have a custom that they are greeted at the front door, they’re welcomed in. They’re toured around the facility if they haven’t prior toured already, and then we introduce them to all the staff. We introduce them to all the clients so they can come and and see everybody interacting. First.st Then we sit down and we do their intake process, which usually takes an hour or 2.
Robert Marino: We’re just getting all documentation signed a photo of the of the client for our Emr records and things like that logistical stuff.
Robert Marino: And then, after that, we’ll put them right in the group. They’re assigned their primary therapist. So you know, treatment at Rolling Hills recovery Center is pretty unique. Actually, so like a lot of treatment facilities. We are a trauma informed, evidence-based program. So all the modalities that we offer are backed by science to show that they work.
Robert Marino: So we implement cognitive behavioral therapy, dialectical behavioral therapy, motivational interviewing. But then we also mix in holistic therapy. So we have a music for recovery program that we like to implement. And it’s with this wonderful woman named Kathy. She’s 27 years sober, you know. She’s been instructing people musically for 20 years.
Robert Marino: but with that mix of her being 27 years sober and understanding how to therapeutically combine music. It’s such a wonderful experience to have. And it’s the same thing with our recovery. Yoga, that we have our Yoga instructor, Karen. She’s also in long-term sobriety. So it’s the same thing we’re showing them how to therapeutically do breathing exercises through Yoga guided sound bowl
Robert Marino: meditation reiki, and then also mixed with that you know her being in 20 years in recovery is also a plus, too. We also have equine therapy as well to where we take our clients out. They get to engage with horses. It shows them how to start trusting a little, bit. Right? Yeah, yeah.
Jessica Dueñas: You all listening, can’t see my smile.
Robert Marino: Right, right, right.
Jessica Dueñas: Hard equine therapy I like lit up, but anyway, keep going, Robert.
Robert Marino: Absolutely, you know. And it’s wonderful, too, because, you know, you see, individuals that are just so closed off from any kind of human interaction because of, like, you know, I was through some traumatic incidences in my time, right? And you know, to watch people come out of that shell and start to interact with the horse or another animal is a beautiful thing to see, because they’re starting to trust something that emotion is still there.
Robert Marino: that inkling that they care about anybody but themselves is an amazing thing to witness, because, as drug addicts and alcoholics, we are all so selfish and self-centered, right because it consumes us. And to start letting go of that behavior and and positively changing. It is a miracle in itself.
Jessica Dueñas: That I mean, I’m so impressed honestly to hear about all the offerings that you all have, because I just remember
Jessica Dueñas: from the different facilities that I went to. I stayed only at one that was a full on residential program that I was there for 35 days, and there was a lot of idle time for us, but there wasn’t. There really weren’t meaningful things for us to get into, and so pretty much in between like group therapy. And then, like we had, like, you know, alcohol and drug education kind of in between those things.
Jessica Dueñas: We just kind of sat around, and then we could go exercise if we wanted to, at the gym, but a lot of people just kind of sat around and vaped the whole time, and I remember being in one of the detox facilities that I went to.
Robert Marino: Again. There wasn’t really anything productive to do, and there was a lot of cigarette smoking, and you know, like somebody was like, well, you can just smoke. And I’m actually a non smoker. But there were times that I like picked up a cigarette and smoked it just because there was nothing else to do, and I was almost like, Well, I guess this is better than drinking myself to death, but I mean for the record I don’t smoke anymore. But
Robert Marino: right? And you know, and idle time is the devil’s playground whose grandmother hasn’t told him that right.
Jessica Dueñas: Yeah.
Robert Marino: You know, but but what we do is we keep them busy enough, but it’s not overkill either, so we like to break up the monotony of treatment because a lot of people have been in treatment and myself included Group Group group group that gets old after a while, too. So as so we’re we’re mixing group therapy in with all these other modalities that we offer
Robert Marino: and also individual therapy sessions. Right? So. But what we’ll do is we’ll do. Okay, we’ll do an hour of group relapse prevention group. Let’s say, go, take a 15 min, smoke, break right. You come back. We’ll do the next group. Then we break it up. After that by incorporate guided sound bowl meditation. Then, after that is another holistic modality. So they’re just not sitting in a 1 chair all day long. So there’s some movement right? And you mentioned the gym, too. So all
Robert Marino: of our clients get full gym memberships. Actually, it’s not, you know, a dungeon in the basement with mismatch, dumbbells and a treadmill, you know you’re going to an actual fitness. Gym, we take. We load up all of our clients in a van, and we bring them over there 3 or 4 times a week. So they have that access and that healthy outlet as well.
Jessica Dueñas: I love that that’s awesome. And you know, for anyone listening knows who knows that I love books. I think about the book. The body keeps the score by Bussell Vander Koch, and just how he talks about the alternative therapies where people really do need to get into their bodies and into movement. So again, I think that that’s all super cool
Jessica Dueñas: thinking about pros and cons of going to treatment. You know, I think one of the biggest reasons why I didn’t want to go was that I was really scared to take time away from work
Jessica Dueñas: at the time. I do have a daughter now, but at the time I didn’t have children. But I remember hearing, you know, other people who did have children who really were so upset about having to take time away from their families and things like that. What do you say to the person in that intake interview? That clearly it’s like red flags everywhere, giving, you know, given their substance use, and they really do need the treatment. But they have those concerns about work or their family. How do you all usually kind of like talk to them through. Talk them through that.
Robert Marino: Yeah. So there’s a lot of barriers for people to come into treatment right? And those are definitely 2 of the biggest ones. So work related barriers. It’s usually, you know, we can set people up with Fmla, which is the Family Medical Leave Act. So if they qualify for that 50 or more employees at the organization, the company that they work for. They’ve worked more than 1,250 h.
Robert Marino: They qualify for Fmla and our case management department will set that up, get it over to their Hr. Department, and then, once they’re qualified for Fmla, then they are now protected by Federal law that they cannot be fired because a lot of people don’t know. This is that addiction treatment is treated just the same as a woman leaving for pregnancy. Leave right? It’s covered underneath the Family Medical Leave Act to where you are protected from losing your job, and then, as far as the
Robert Marino: the family goes. You know what a lot of times our admissions coordinators need to gauge the person that they’re talking to. Right? It’s a lot of times our situation. We’re not calling up a treatment facility because things are going great. Right? You know that. And that’s just the reality behind it. So we try to challenge them on, you know. Are you being a proper mother or father?
Robert Marino: Are you being present? Are you just getting high or drunk all day long? Are you yelling and screaming at your children all day long? Are you just sitting there? An empty shell of a human being on the couch, scrolling through your phone and not? Are you not meeting your duties as a parent? Right? And that’s usually the selling point to somebody or not even the selling point. Just the mind just to open their mind and their eyes to that false reality that they could be
Robert Marino: living in at that current moment is that no, I’m not meeting the problem. I’m not treating my family the way I should be. And then that’s when we start to go into the next step in the process.
Jessica Dueñas: Yeah. And you know, I think the other thing, too, that we can be so guilty of doing when we’re in active addiction is that we take the people in our lives for granted. And so for anybody who might be like, well, my kids are going to still be here, even if I don’t, you know, like I don’t need to go to treatment. I don’t want to leave my kids behind, but you don’t know if you know, the other parent could step in. You don’t know if you could ever, God forbid! Have an accident where the State steps in and removes your children
Jessica Dueñas: from your home because you didn’t address your addiction. And so I feel like anytime. I’ve had that conversation with someone who’s struggling and does have children. My reminder is yeah, like
Jessica Dueñas: they’re here today. But they might not be if you don’t get it together like, or your significant other like, who’s to say that your spouse. Your partner is going to want to continue to tolerate whatever you’re doing for another year another couple months, right like you don’t know when someone’s breaking point is, and they can just up and leave. So.
Robert Marino: And it’s like, you know. Take the chance. Come, take it, do it. Come into treatment because you are going to go home. A better parent. Right? I have 2 2 small daughters, and you know one’s 7 and one’s 3, and they have not had to see me take a sip of alcohol or do a drug since they’ve been alive right? And if they had, I was not
Robert Marino: suitable to raise children. Let me put it that way right? No, seriously, because I probably never would have been around, I would have been an absent parent. Right? And that’s just the reality of that. And you know once people understand that. Yes, I
Robert Marino: I can’t just do this for my children. I needed to do this for myself, to better my life, and then that is a byproduct of bettering your life. Now it starts to trickle in into the all the other facets of your life. So now you could become a better parent, become a better spouse, become a better worker, become a better friend. All the things that we neglected in when we were in our addiction.
Jessica Dueñas: Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, so speaking of family, right? Let’s say, a family is looking for a treatment center for their loved one who is struggling. I firmly believe not. All treatment centers are created equal. And you know, I think, like you made mention of that earlier on that there are things that you don’t like in certain facilities that you’ve seen or experienced. So what should people be looking for when choosing a facility.
Robert Marino: That’s a great question. So number one is joint commission accreditation, right? Carf any kind of accreditation, any kind of
Robert Marino: government listing of a facility being on there, because, you know, digitally, there’s so many things out there these days that you can’t really tell who’s who and what we encourage is we want. Come and tour our facility. Come, sit down, meet with leadership. Come, see a day to day activity that the clients are doing. Come, see our house, I mean, as soon as they come. Like all of our clients, when they live in a 5,500 square foot mansion
Robert Marino: in ground swimming pool. It’s on 5 acres of land, you know. There’s memory foam mattresses in every single room with 55 inch flat screen TV. So as soon as they get there, they see that. Okay, this, this facility is the real deal, you know, because there’s a lot of facilities out there that will bait and switch you right. They know how to put the shiny objects, photos and stuff like that, and then you get there. And it’s not what you were expecting.
Robert Marino: So that’s a good. That’s a good thing to do is, you know, ask for a tour. Can I come, see your facility, and meet the staff first, st before I decide to enroll in your program.
Jessica Dueñas: Yeah, no, I think that that’s great. I know one of the things that I would say from the times that I had gone. We talked a little bit about this before I press record, but also the pathways to recovery. I think that one of my gripes with one of the places that I went to was that they force one type of recovery program over the others. And then they’re basically threatening to kick you out of their program if you don’t go
Jessica Dueñas: through a certain pathway. And I found that to be problem like again, I was compliant because I was just trying to. I was trying to live. So I was like, whatever you tell me to do, I’m just going to go ahead and do it, but I do recognize that some people will still get deterred if they’re being told to do something one specific way. So what do you think about that? Like facilities that offer multiple pathways or recognize that there’s multiple pathways to recovery.
Robert Marino: Oh, I love that, and I think that’s how it should be done. So even with rolling hills. Recovery Center, we
Robert Marino: you’re coming in, and you’re we’re putting together a treatment plan. That is evidence based for you. So this is, you know, psychotherapy, that that approach. But then we also have the options to go to outside Aana meetings, where we take all of our clients in the evening. So that’s we will set people up with smart recovery, and whatever the the solution, they they try to go that path. So yeah, no, we’re not closed off to any of those different treatment modalities at all. No.
Jessica Dueñas: Yeah, I think that that’s awesome. And so once someone has, I don’t know if you all call it graduate or completing the program, I think different facilities call it different things, but once someone finishes their 30 days, what’s next for them?
Robert Marino: So before they’re even.
Robert Marino: So, we have a 2 week discharge plan that we put together for an individual. So what 2 weeks before we know they’re about to discharge. We’re already working on what their next steps are going to be. And what does that look like so? And and what what I mean by that is.
Robert Marino: are they doing, Aarna? Can we find them? The list of all the local meetings in their town, their neighborhood? Are they continuing with a 1-on-one therapist. When they get out to continue the talk therapy, we’ll set them up with that. Meds, are they continuing? Do they need a psychiatrist to be able to go continue their medication, monitoring and prescribing. You know our alumni app.
Robert Marino: Beautiful thing! You know, we have so many people that are a member of our alumni community to where, you know, we have a chatter feature in there to where they engage with each other sobriety trackers meeting lists. There’s all kinds of different features within it, but they get to stay, get to stay connected with the community, and they get to help to have that extra layer of accountability when they 1st leave out of the program. And it’s such a beautiful thing.
Robert Marino: We once a month have our alumni meetings, and it’s it’s awesome when we see, you know, 30, 40 alumni come back and speak to the current clients in the program. Right? Because it shows them that. Hey, this is possible to stay sober. Once you walk out of the doors of a program. So we’re pretty serious about putting together that aftercare plan for them.
Jessica Dueñas: I love that. So I have. I love the alumni aspect of it. You know I don’t live in Kentucky anymore, which is where I did. Most of the treatment facility stays that I did, but I think, like the I still am actually really good friends. With one person I went to treatment with. And so the last time I was in treatment
Jessica Dueñas: there was in the summer of 2020. So you know, I’ve been friends with someone for 5 years that I was there in that residential treatment program with. And there’s something there’s something really special about the connection that you make with someone that you were in this space in right, like you walk in and you’re a disaster and you walk out.
Jessica Dueñas: You’re still a mess, right? But it’s like you’ve got a plan in place, and you you’re feeling hopeful for the future. And there’s something really special about that. So I love that you all have an alumni group, so folks can stay in touch with one another. I think that’s important.
Robert Marino: Because, you know, and that’s a part of this long term recovery, you know, because going to treatment in my experience is not a silver bullet right? Just because I go away for 30 days doesn’t mean that I’m cured of this thing. You know. I still need to do something something when I get out right. Whatever that looks like for you or the individual is what you need to continue on a day-to-day basis.
Jessica Dueñas: Yeah. And I’m so glad that you mentioned the. It’s not a magic bullet thing. So for anyone listening again for those of you who know or don’t know from my story. I have been hospitalized about 7 or 8 times in the year of 2020, while I was trying to get sober, and all my different hospitalizations were a combination of either detox days, like, you know, 5 to 7 days up through the residential treatment facility, which was a 35 day visit.
Jessica Dueñas: and I promise you that every time that I landed back in a facility I was really pissed off at myself, and really frustrated and wanted to give up. But at the end of the day I knew that for me to give up would eventually mean dying, and so I just had to keep going, no matter how many times it took and back. Then I was super embarrassed that I had gone into hospitalization settings. What like 7 or 8 times. I don’t even remember it was really embarrassing back then.
Jessica Dueñas: But nowadays, when I say that I went to treatment, that many times I realize that it makes other people feel less ashamed of what they’re going through when they realize that they’re stumbling. So I’m so glad, Robert, that you mentioned that that going to treatment one time may not fix it all for some people it does, and they’re very fortunate. But some people it’s gonna take what it takes, and it might look messy, and it might look like a couple repeat visits. It doesn’t mean that the facilities want you
Jessica Dueñas: back, but if that’s what you need to do sometimes. That is what you have to do.
Robert Marino: You know what was one of the drivers for me, for continuing right after treatment was, I experienced something that I have not experienced probably, since I was a little kid. Joy, right? Happiness
Robert Marino: because I was dead on the inside. What we do is we have recreational therapy that we do, too. It’s not an actual therapeutic being overseen by clinicians.
Robert Marino: but they’re therapeutic activities. So we’ll take our clients, rock wall climbing, zip lining. They drove like the Nascar racing and like go karts around racetracks, movie night bowling. You know, whatever there’s a ton of different activities that we do. But this is to help show individuals that
Robert Marino: life is not over. You can still have fun. Right? You can tap back into the things that you’ve once loved in the past, like even through our art. You know we have a lot of clients that come in, and they are gifted right. They know how to draw. They know how to play musical instruments through the creative therapies, and you know they tap back into that. And then we have clients that leave, and then they continue to do that leisure activity that we took them out on when they were in treatment with us. You know we had one client that said that he hasn’t laughed like that in 10
Robert Marino: years. Imagine that you know life was so bad that you just couldn’t even laugh that hard for 10 years, and then you had to come out of that shell and get involved with others. And these fun activities to be able to have that experience that was a driver for me to keep going.
Jessica Dueñas: Yeah. Speaking of joy, i. 1 of my favorite memories from being in my residential program was that we did have. They did let the residents. They would call them residents at this place. If we wanted to like, organize something, we could organize it right? So the staff was like the staff was supportive of it, but we kind of had to do it on our own. So me and this friend who I’m mentioning that I was in treatment with. We decided it would be really fun to do a karaoke night and like try to figure
Jessica Dueñas: it out. So one of the techs who worked at the facility she brought in a karaoke machine, and I had only ever in my life done karaoke drunk, and I only ever I never even remember doing karaoke all the years that I did karaoke, even though I loved it, and I remember being terrified to like
Jessica Dueñas: use the mic and just sing. And I did it, and I remember being like
Jessica Dueñas: holy shit. I can do this like I can do this sober right and like you said it opened the door so like now I’ve been sober almost 5 years, God willing, in November, and like I’ll do karaoke without a heart like I’m stumbling with my words. I will do, Karaoke, no matter what like. I don’t need to drink to do it, but I think that those are big Aha! Moments that people deserve to get that. They forget that they’re capable of those things. And so, myth busting.
Jessica Dueñas: I feel like we maybe touched a little bit on one myth right? That, like you go to treatment, and it can be totally boring, and it can be but a facility like yours clearly has a lot of engaging things going on for residents or clients. But what is a myth that you think needs to be busted right now about treatment facilities. What would you say.
Robert Marino: That life, that life is over right, that that’s the biggest thing that that I
Robert Marino: you’ve lost. Hope you have not like this. Just getting anywhere is a good start, right? And even though we were just talking about, you know, some facilities are not, as you know, great or up to par as other facilities. But you know my experience was, you know, like I said, I got sober in an indigent, homeless shelter program, but I was willing to go to any lengths, because I was so sick of the way that I was living.
Robert Marino: you know. Don’t let anything be a deterrent from getting into treatment at least starting the process. You know. I think that you know the biggest myth is that if I go to treatment that it’s not going to do anything for me.
Jessica Dueñas: Yeah. Yeah. And you know that idea of if I go to treatment, my life is over. No, your life is over. If your addiction takes your life from you like you’re still alive. Go to treatment and then live the rest of your life. But you know, if you just sit there, continuing to drink until you develop, you know, some complication from your alcohol use, or if you have like, a drug overdose or something like that, that’s when your life is really over, and then you leave everyone behind heartbroken. So I think, like you said, life is not over just because you’re going to treatment. That’s almost the beginning of like the next part of your life.
Jessica Dueñas: So my my last question for you, Robert, is, if someone listening is unsure of whether they’re quote unquote, bad enough to go. What would you say to them?
Robert Marino: As far bad enough to come to the program or.
Jessica Dueñas: Yeah, like, it’s like, I don’t think I’m bad enough to go to treatment. I don’t know, you know, if that’s kind of like what someone’s.
Robert Marino: You know, that’s not a mindset to be in, you know. If if you need treatment, make the phone call, you need treatment right? It’s there is. No, I’m worse off, or what we see the most is not that I’m bad enough, but not that I’m not bad enough, right? My story is not like these other people’s. That’s the one that it gets gets hidden a little bit because it’s the it’s the I have a 3. I have 2 cars in the garage. I have a family.
Robert Marino: right? And and I don’t know that I have that problem, that that’s the thing right. But and what we were talking about before. But am I that present family member? Am I that present parent? Right is is my. Does my wife and my husband communicate with me, or do they just go straight to bed every single night without talking to me
Robert Marino: right now? These are things to identify.
Jessica Dueñas: Yeah. And I’m so glad that you mentioned like, yeah, I might have the 2 car garage. I might still have my family. I might still have a really good job. You all listening, we should know by now. Addiction does not discriminate. And so, just because you might have all the nice things. It does not mean that you don’t need help. There’s this quote that I love, and I’m going to pull it up. It’s from Laura Mccowan who wrote the memoir. We are the luckiest, and she wrote.
Jessica Dueñas: the normal question is, is this bad enough for me to have to change? The question we should be asking is, Is this good enough for me to stay the same?
Jessica Dueñas: And the real question underneath it all is, Am I free? Right? So y’all can have the 2 car garage. You can have the beautiful spouse. You can have the beautiful children, but if at the end of the day you are not free from whatever substance is holding you back. Then that is worth making a phone call and getting an assessment done at a treatment facility, whether it be the ones that Robert facilitates, or something closer to home to you all.
Jessica Dueñas: Go ahead.
Robert Marino: Anywhere, get any.
Robert Marino: Yeah, yeah
Robert Marino: program, you know. And I just want to say this, too, because this is one of the things that slips by people is that.
Robert Marino: you know this is a little bit more prevalent for drug addiction and alcoholism. But, like, you know, smoking, crack, or doing, heroin is not normal behavior. Right? Let’s just.
Jessica Dueñas: No.
Robert Marino: That that’s what needs to be registered. This is not normal. Okay? And then the faster somebody can say that to themselves, I think that they can get put on that trajectory to trying to get help. Alcohol is a little bit more cunning, because, you know, and one of the ways that I found to identify. This was once I once I start drinking. Can I stop right? Can I control my drinking? If I cannot control my drinking? It may be time to reach out to somebody.
Jessica Dueñas: Yeah, I love that you said the alcohol. What is it that they say in Aa alcohol is cunning, baffling, powerful. But yeah, I mean it really is. It’s sneaky as hell. Why? Because it’s legal. So you can buy this highly addictive substance as long as you’re over 21. No issue no problem. You can buy as much as much of it as you want to. But people don’t realize how addictive it is. People don’t realize how dangerous it is, and it’s so normalized and it’s embedded into every
Jessica Dueñas: part of society. It’s like, if you’re happy, you drink. If you’re struggling, you drink, and so absolutely, it is really sneaky. And it is cunning. And so just because it’s legal, doesn’t mean it’s okay for you. If you have the red flags coming up. If you’re noticing, like, Robert said, that you want to stop and you can’t stop if you’re noticing that you’re hiding your drinking from loved ones because you don’t want to get judged right. A lot of us have this natural intuitive sense that
Jessica Dueñas: something is wrong, and we’d like to ignore it because we want to continue with the drinking. But yeah, you don’t have to continue being trapped.
Jessica Dueñas: So, Robert, how do people either follow you or follow your treatment facilities or your programs like, if people wanted to know more, where can they find out more about you or your programs.
Robert Marino: Absolutely. You know, we have big followings on all major social media platforms. You can go on Youtube, see videos about our program, client testimonials, virtual tours, Walkthrough, of the program from our leadership standpoint, and you can also visit us at rollinghillsrecoverycenter.com, or you can call us directly at (973) 606-9170. And that’s 24 HA day. We have admissions, representatives standing by.
Jessica Dueñas: Okay, perfect. Well, Robert, thank you. Thank you so much for your time today, I think again, this conversation was so important for listeners who are asking themselves the question like, Do I need to do more than what I’ve been doing any last words for listeners before we wrap up.
Robert Marino: Just get call. If if you think that you need help, at least make the phone call and just entertain the assessment with the individual. If it’s local in your neighborhood. If you called us, get somebody on the phone, please. That’s all that matters.
Jessica Dueñas: Yeah, absolutely. Well, thank you again, Robert, I really really appreciate your time today.
Robert Marino: Yeah, the pleasure was all mine. Thank you so much for having me.
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