In this episode:
I reflect on a passage from The Pivot Year by Brianna Wiest and what it means to truly be where your feet are. I share how recovery has taught me to embrace stillness, simplicity, and the quiet moments that used to feel empty. Life doesn’t have to be loud or flashy to be full, and sometimes, the real transformation happens in the most unglamorous routines. If you’ve ever wondered whether your peaceful, sober life is “enough,” this one’s for you.
Resources:
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Bottomless to Sober – Coaching, Classes, and Workshops
Transcript:
Jessica Dueñas:
Hey, everyone, welcome back. Before I get started, I just wanted to give you a heads-up that episodes may become shorter or a little bit less frequent in the coming two months, only because I’m stepping into a very busy season for my 9 to 5, which impacts just how my energy is outside of work. So just putting that out there for you all—I don’t hold myself to a specific schedule, so I will post episodes when I can, and when I can’t, I just won’t. Thanks for listening today. I appreciate you all for showing up. I can’t believe I’ve had this podcast now for about two years. Time flies.
Anyway, what I wanted to do for today’s episode was actually start with a reading from The Pivot Year by Brianna Wiest.
I’ll be honest—I did not write down which Pivot Year reading this was. It was written down in one of my journals, and whatever version of myself felt like writing it down that day accidentally did not write the entry number down. My bad. But I do really love the reading, and I just wanted to speak briefly on it for today’s episode.
Brianna wrote:
“You may believe that living life to the fullest is seeing every country in the world, and quitting your job on a whim and falling recklessly in love. But it’s really just knowing how to be where your feet are.
It’s learning how to take care of yourself, how to make a home within your own skin. It’s learning to build a simple life you are proud of.
A life most fully lived is not always composed of the things that rock you awake, but those things that slowly assure you it’s okay to slow down.
That you don’t always have to prove yourself. That you don’t need to fight forever or constantly want more.
That it’s okay for things to be just as they are.
Little by little, you’ll begin to see that life can only grow outward in proportion to how stable it is inward.
That if the joy is not in the little things first, the big things won’t truly find us.”
Oof. I just love that whole piece.
But I especially love that line about making a home within your own skin, right? I think that just speaks directly to the work we do here in recovery. I think about the fact that when I was in active addiction, I was always chasing something. If I wasn’t chasing a drink, I was chasing validation, love, the next achievement. There was always forward movement in terms of going after the next fix.
And so, when I first got sober, I actually thought recovery would also kind of follow that same model—that it would have all sorts of external transformations. You know, landing a dream job, perfect relationship—life would be beautiful and perfect on the outside. But what no one really talks about early on is that real change often looks a little bit boring.
For me, especially early on when I used to take psych meds to help with my journey, it meant waking up early to take those meds—not because I felt like it, but because they helped regulate my mood. It meant opening the mail I had been avoiding because I realized, “Dang, I’ve got to step up and actually own my responsibilities,” which meant paying some bills I’d been ignoring.
Right now, I’m recording this on my couch on a Friday evening while my daughter’s napping. There’s nothing really glamorous about what I’m doing right now, but this is how I’m connecting. This is how I’m moving forward in my day-to-day life.
This isn’t necessarily Instagrammable stuff. It definitely doesn’t look like “living to the fullest” on social media. But what it does look like is peace. This is stability for me. And honestly, if I go back to my life years ago, this is radically different than what my life used to be like.
So here are a couple of scenarios that might resonate for some of you listening. I want you to think about how our life doesn’t have to be loud to feel full.
For example, maybe you are already a year or two sober, and you’re looking around and starting to wonder, “Is this it?” Maybe the chaos has gotten quiet, and now the thrills in your life involve laundry, therapy appointments, sitting with your thoughts, reflecting, and journaling.
It might sound incredibly unexciting, but honestly, that’s where a lot of the real work begins—when you’re able to sit with your feelings, not run away from them, and get deeper with everything you’re doing.
Maybe you recently saw a friend post about a spontaneous trip or quitting their job to follow their dreams. And you look at what you’re doing and start to think maybe you’re behind. But what if you’re just building something a little bit slower? What if you’re building something that’s more solid? Maybe you don’t need to blow up your life to feel alive anymore.
Maybe you don’t have to engage in extreme behaviors to feel alive and fulfilled—and that’s okay.
Or maybe you’re seeing people surrounding themselves with big groups of others, celebrating and partying. And you’re realizing that the idea of being in big groups doesn’t appeal to you, and you’re honestly just enjoying your own company.
Maybe it’s not that you’ve given up on connecting with other people, but that you’ve finally made peace with who you are—and that’s huge. I want you to recognize that and own that, because for years, for some of us, being alone was a massive trigger. For many of us, being alone was intolerable.
So I just want to offer that gentle reminder: as we sit through life, and it’s not so thrilling or glamorous—that’s okay. Your life doesn’t have to be loud to be full. It doesn’t have to be particularly exciting on social media for it to be full. Life can be slow. Life can be quiet. Life can be rooted.
And that’s where growth can happen the most.
Maybe you’re walking or just sitting while listening to this podcast episode. Here are a couple of questions to close out with—food for thought, as I like to say:
- What does it mean for you to be where your feet are?
How do you ground yourself when you’re feeling pulled in a lot of different directions? - Are you still chasing old definitions of what successful or exciting looks like?
What would it look like for you to embrace something slower, or more stable? - What are some small things that can bring you peace today that might be more quiet?
What have you started noticing or appreciating that maybe you overlooked before you got sober?
Again, you don’t have to prove anything to be worthy of rest or peace or joy. And you don’t have to keep fighting against yourself forever.
It’s okay to be still.
You’re allowed to be enough exactly where your feet are today.
Thanks so much for spending some time with me. I appreciate you all. Feel free to share this episode with someone else in recovery—or even someone who’s just learning to slow down and be more present.
Thanks, everyone. Have a great one.
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