Though sobriety doesn’t shield us from life’s challenges, nurturing hope empowers us with the resilience needed to navigate whatever adversity we face.
In an interview for Time Magazine, researcher and psychologist Chan Hellman defined hope as “the belief or the expectation that the future can be better, and that more importantly, we have the capacity to pursue that future.” In sobriety, this belief becomes a lifeline for those grappling with addiction, giving them something to hold onto while working to release their substance of choice.
As my relationship with drinking drew to a close, though I didn’t know exactly what to expect from a life without alcohol, I remember thinking that not drinking had to be better than this. At that juncture, my body was shutting down because of alcoholic liver disease—the idea of continuing to live desperately latched onto a substance that made me lie, sneak, and avoid consciousness felt equivalent to condemning myself to a living hell with a hopeless future.
Understanding that whatever sobriety had to offer me would be better than what my life was like in active addiction helped propel me into recovery. Hope empowered me to give up my career, surrender my home, and expose my secret struggle to the world—to reveal that I, the state teacher of the year, battled alcohol addiction. This surrender was based on the trust that doing these things would help me let go of the bottle I was drowning myself in.
Even now, years into this sobriety journey, I still need to hold onto hope because it provides a profound assurance that challenging times won’t last. When I experienced my heart-breaking pregnancy loss, one of the most brutal blows in my recent history, I confronted a pivotal choice—believe in a brighter future or turn to apathy.
I believe my future will be better, not because it’s contingent on specific outcomes, such as a successful pregnancy, but because I’ve honed the skill of real self-care. I have a lot of heart and love to pour into myself and others, and I won’t let the hurt I feel harden my heart and turn me into an apathetic person.
In Brené Brown’s words, “The brokenhearted are the bravest among us. They had the courage to love.” I choose to embody this bravery, leaning on hope as one of my pillars of strength.
About the author, Jessica:
- Jessica Dueñas, Ed.S., the founder of Bottomless to Sober and 2019 Kentucky State Teacher of the Year, is an educator in recovery who provides coaching services to individuals needing support in accomplishing their goals. In addition, Jessica facilitates professional development for organizations on wellness, leads workshops on writing and wellness, and is also available as a speaker for events.
- In 2021, Jessica was named a Kentucky Colonel, the highest honor a civilian can receive in the state of Kentucky, for her service work in education and recovery spaces.
- Read more about working with Jessica, including testimonials here.
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Free Writing for Healing Workshop. Access here.
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