Let’s take a peek at the following circumstance that has been known to position several people I know to drink, myself included.
Situation: “I’m a single woman alone on a Saturday night watching TV.”
There isn’t really anything out of the ordinary about that. I mean, many people watch TV or stream entertainment.
However, that circumstance, “I’m a single woman alone on a Saturday night watching TV,” can be incredibly triggering for some, especially women on Mother’s Day weekend.
If you find yourself in a triggering circumstance, look at your thoughts and examine why they bother you. Why do they make your skin crawl to the point you would want to drink?
Let’s go back to the circumstance I am basing this on, “I’m a single woman alone on a Saturday night watching TV.”
First, the single woman part. Is there something wrong with being a single woman? Why or why not? If you read this and think, “Yes” or “Maybe,” why do you think it’s a problem? Is it because you want to be in a relationship, or have you absorbed societal expectations that women “should” be in relationships? Is it really a problem for you, or have you been taught to think it’s a problem?
Let’s look at the next part, watching TV alone, and add to that the fact that it’s happening on a Saturday night. I’ll ask you the same questions. Is there something actually wrong with that, or is it something you’ve been taught?
Suppose these circumstances are genuinely problems for you and you don’t like them. In that case, I invite you to create a plan to take action so you don’t stay in the situation you dislike. However, if you realize it’s not you, and it’s more that you’ve been taught that you should be in a relationship or that you have been taught it’s not okay to be watching TV alone or doing it on a Saturday night, this is a perfect opportunity to practice new thoughts!
Instead of thinking, “It’s sad to be alone on a Saturday night watching TV as a single woman,” I invite you to think of something different. I’m going to assume (and perhaps incorrectly) that maybe you’ve been busy all week. If that is accurate, an alternative thought might be, “I get to rest this Saturday night” or “I’ve accomplished a lot, and I deserve a night in.”
Notice these are still the same circumstances. We’re still talking about an individual who is a single woman alone on a Saturday night, but this individual has changed their thoughts and is now feeling a lot better about it and way less likely to drink.
What are some other thoughts that come up for you around other circumstances? Examine them. Are they really problematic for you, or has a source outside of yourself taught you to regard those situations as unsuitable? Instead of freaking out next time you’re triggered, slow down and examine your thoughts a little closer. See what you learn about yourself and what new ideas you can try to practice—wishing you all a peaceful Mother’s Day weekend.
Want to talk more about circumstances that apply directly to you? Schedule a free 1:1 coaching consultation here.
